Darkest Reviews

Director: Bryan Bertino

Writer: Bryan Bertino

Staring: Gemma Ward, Liv Tyler, Scott Speedman

Released: 5/30/2008

Rating: R

Studio: Rogue Pictures

Web Site: www.thestrangers.net

The Strangers is a VERY frightening film. This is one of those movies that stays with you after you leave the theater. The plot is neither complex nor is it a new concept. This is a perfect example of how a film is executed (pun intended) is what’s important. It’s all in the timing and subtlety here. Strong acting and a great soundtrack also helps.

When we first meet the main characters they are in a very awkward and uncomfortable situation. She has just refused his marriage proposal and here they are alone together in a vacation home completely unsure of where they stand. This uncomfortable air sets the perfect tone and is only amplified when a strange girl knocks on the front door. The terror in this film comes from it’s atmosphere and uncertainty. Though people creeping around in masks doesn’t hurt either. The story keeps you at the edge of your seat and the tension starts small and builds to its disturbing climax.

Another aspect of this film that keeps you creeped out is that it feels very real. At no point does it become fantastical, this could very well have happened. Which is a point since the story is inspired by real events. This is much more psychological horror, my favorite, then it is boo, going to get you. Though there are a few nicely done jump scares that got me good.

If you want a film the gets under your skin, then this is the movie for you. It’s the kind that has you up checking your car or home to make sure no one’s there. It leaves you looking over your shoulder. The Strangers is a great ride that doesn’t disappoint.

5/5

Director: Peter Cornwell

Writer: Tim Metcalfe and Adam Simon

Staring: Kyle Gallner, Virginia Madsen, Elias Koteas, Tim Metcalfe, Martin Donovan

Released: 3/27/2009

Rating: PG-13

Studio: Gold Circle Films and Lions Gate

Website: www.hauntinginconnecticut.com

A good haunting movie doesn’t come around often. So many are killed by CGI, poor story, bad acting, and/or lame monsters. None of which affect this movie. This film is nice and creepy and done very effectively. One thing that surprised me was the whole possession angle. Now I am generally not a fan of possession stories but it is done in a way here that is very intriguing. No talking fingers, or funny voices. This film creates an eerie atmosphere from the start and it doesn’t let go until it’s dramatic end.

A Haunting in Connecticut follows one family’s real-life encounter with the dark forces of the supernatural. The Campbell family moves to upstate Connecticut, forced to relocate near a clinic where their teenage son was being treated for cancer. Kyle Gallner dose an amazing job as the cancer ridden son, Matt. His eyes have a way of showing his pain, and latter, his haunted changing behavior. His strength and personality make him an endearing character. The film moves at a good pace and it quickly becomes evident that their new home has a disturbing history. Yes, that’s right, it’s a transformed funeral parlor where strange events have occurred.

The ghosts in this film are the kind that hide in the shadows and make a few pop ups for some good jump moments. Matt’s “possession” is more the ability to see what a spirit wants him to see. So a lot of the story’s key points come in flash back form. That is until his sister, Wendy, takes an interest and dose some digging for the home’s history. I loved this scene because it reminded me of an 80′s training montage. However this did not ruin the great creepy atmosphere. Which by the way, was made even better by the movie’s eerie score by Robert J. Kral.

The other major character is a Reverend, played well by Elias Koates, who also has cancer. He believes that being close to death makes one able to connect with the other side. He believes Matt’s tale completely and takes him under his wing. But when he comes to the house to help things go from bad to worse. The one person I didn’t like in this film was the dad. He just seemed out of place and awkward. Mainly because his screen time was maybe ten minutes. The mom (Virginia Madsen) did well as voice of reason and was of course the last to have any ghostly experiences. All the performances did a great job at driving the story and making you care what happens.

The Haunting in Connecticut is a simple ghost story done right. It takes inspiration from great films of the past, takes it bit father, and adds new elements to make the recipe perfect. This movie shows that you don’t need much to scare people you just need to do it right. Great story, great acting, great visuals, and bam you’ve got a great picture. I highly recommend this film to anybody who likes that edge of your seat creep. I know this will be a must watch every Halloween movie in my house.

4 1/2 /5

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Writer: Quentin Tarantino

Staring: Christoph Waltz, Brad Pitt, Melanie Laurent, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger, Daniel Bruhl

Released: 9/21/2009

Rating: R

Studio: Universal

Web Site: www.inglouriousbasterds-movie.com

Nazis, Brad Pitt, and Quentin Tarantino, what could go wrong? Not much really, just a few things. The first and biggest complaint is that The Basterds were not the central focus, as the trailer and the title suggest. They were all such interesting characters I wanted to know more about them and see more of their exploits. The film is instead divided between them and the tale of the Jewish lead, Shosanna. While it was an engaging story it did tend to drag, especially in Chapter 3. A faster pacing would have been welcome.

Now just because I started off with a negative dose not mean this film is bad. Quite the opposite is true. I loved this movie. I just wanted to get my biggest grip out of the way. Now let’s talk about what’s right. In the middle of a very strong cast was a performance that stole the show. Christoph Waltz plays Col. Hans Landa to perfection. He is vile, despicable, conniving, ruthless, and all around nasty. But by the same token he is charming, handsome, intelligent, and silver tongued. Truly a man you love to hate. Lt. Aldo Raine is portrayed terrifically and very funny by Brad Pitt. He might have even stole the spotlight from Waltz, had Pitt be in the film more. Shosanna (Melanie Laurent), a very strong female lead, reminded me a lot of Uma Thurman, and that’s not a bad thing. Then in walks Eli Roth as The Bear Jew. As with all The Basterds, he was quirky and bad ass. I was very impressed with Martin Wuttke’s portrayal of Hitler. Not to over the top but enough to laugh at. The addition of Mike Myers and Samuel L. Jackson was great fun and a nice surprise.

Now on to what you all want to read about, VIOLENCE! There really isn’t all that much, only 4 major scenes. However when it there it is wonderfully graphic. A little more action might have helped the pacing of the film, but I digress. The most brutal scene features Eli Roth beating the holy hell out of a Nazi solider with a baseball bat. The camera doesn’t cut away as we witness his head caving in. It’s up there with the “bottle scene” from Pan’s Labyrinth. The scalping and swastika carving scenes are well executed, pardon the pun. The end, which I will not spoil, is a plane and simple just desserts bloodbath. There is another bloody filled gun fight but it was quite a surprise to me when it happened so I will leave it as a surprise for you.

On to the director and writer, Quentin Tarantino. Think what you want of him, love him or hate him. I see his film making as art the same way a collage is art. He takes preexisting elements and uses them to form his own vision. And his dose is it well. However his true genius is his gift for dialogue. Tarantino is a master at the spoke word. Who of us can’t recite words from Pulp Fiction at any given time? In Inglorious Basterds the dialogue takes the center spotlight. In the opening Col. Landa (Christoph Waltz) delivers a speech comparing Jews to rats. It is highly disturbing in it’s logic. I am sure this movie will spawn many one-liners. As a period piece it creates a great and convincing atmosphere. There were a few sporadically placed “Grind House” style titles that I found distracting. Maybe if they were more consistent it would have worked better.

Tarantino is also known for his off beat music selection. Basterds is no different. It’s a wonderful soundtrack that emphasizes the emotions and adds depth to the picture. It has already found a home in my music library. Now normally I have a big pet peeve when it comes to contemporary music in a period film. Perfect example, the horrid Moulin Rouge or A Knight’s Tale, sorry Heath. Strangely however the use of David Bowie’s Cat People (Putting Out The Fire) works perfectly here, juxtaposed against images of the Third Riche. What that says about Bowie or Tarantino, I’m not sure.

To sum it all up: Inglourious Basterds is dramatic, intriguing, and most of all just plan fun. It’s a great alternate timeline adventure. Outstanding performances, terrific writing, and a great look and feel makes this a must see film. The day it hits DVD it will have a special place in my DVD collection. Let’s hope for a director’s cut with more of The Basterds.

4/5

Director: Oren Peli

Writer: Oren Peli

Staring: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat, Mark Friedrichs, Amber Armstrong, Ashley Palmer

Released: 9/29/2009

Rating: R

Studio: DreamWorks

Web Site: www.paranormalactivity-movie.com

Did the theater put the wrong reel on by accident? That is how I feel at this moment. My ticket says Paranormal Activity but this can’t be the movie that everyone loves. Can it? The most frightening film of all time? If this is in fact Paranormal Activity, am I missing something? Why am I bored and laughing? This movie is terrible! A young couple suspects that their house is haunted. They set up video surveillance to capture any evidence. It’s a simple plot that, sadly, is poorly executed. I have seen episodes of Ghost Hunters that were creepier.

For starters the two stars of this film are totally unlikable. Katie is annoying and Micah is an ass. They are supposed to be real people but they don’t feel that way at all. Their performance feels stilted. Katie’s friend, who appears a few times, feel very out of place. Then we have the lame psychic. He only knows about ghosts and can’t help. The only plot point he serves is to let them know it would do no good to leave the house. If really knows nothing about demons how does he know? How dose he know it’s a demon at all for that matter? Anyway he doesn’t seem to care at all what happens to this couple.

The camera stays on all night as the couple sleeps. It’s during this time that the “attacks” happen. The film uses a time lapse effect to speed things up and stops just before something happens. Then there is a low droning noise that appears. Great warning sign, wouldn’t want to startle the audience now would we? It sounds like the demon turns on the A/C. My favorite “attack” was when the light on the stairs comes on, we hear the demons footsteps coming up and then the light turns off. What, the demon needs to turn on a light to walk up stairs? I guess it would be pretty embarrassing for him to fall down or stub his demon toe. Hay at least he’s polite and turns off the light when he’s done. As the thumping grows into footprints and finally to an actual attack the feeling of dread is not there. I think that the daylight scenes take away all unease and each night they had to try and build any tension over again. Then there were the constant jump cuts. They made the film choppy and it lost any real feeling. I’m not sure if the ending was supposed be a twist or shock but it was neither. One could tell this sort of thing was coming as soon as Katie stood by the bed for 2 hours. That’s not scary that’s just annoying by the way.

Paranormal Activity really disappointed me. I was so excited to see it and I was looking forward to a good scare. It’s been awhile since I have been scared by a film. I also wanted to like this film because I am a huge fan of underground and indie film-makers. I want to see them succeed and take over the main stream. However much I wanted to like this film I couldn’t. The scares and plot are predictable and bland. I was so bored in fact that I even checked my watch during it.

0/5

Director: Dustin W. Mills

Writer: Dustin W. Mills

Staring: Ethan Holey, Jessica Daniels, Steve Rimpici, Bart Flynn, Erica Kisseberth, Brandon Salkil, Dustin Mills

Released: 2011

Rating: Unrated

Web Site: www.puppetmonstermassacre.com

The Puppet Monster Massacre is a film unlike anything I’ve seen. It captures the spirit of an 80′s horror film and wraps it in felt. The writing is clever and the dialogue is sharp. Each of the puppets has a very distinct personality and encapsulates the 80′s film archetype. From the nerd to the brit, the pussy to the old man. It’s hard not to love this bunch. Add in a crazy German scientist, bunnies, monster, and a penguin and you have a well rounded cast.

The plot is simple: A group of teens are challenged to spend a night in the Wagner mansion on the edge of town. Little do they know the owner (Dr. Wolfgang Wagner) has concocted a monstrosity in the basement and plans to make the hapless teens the creature’s first big meal. It’s the film’s delivery of the plot that make this film a stand out. It has the charm of a Saturday Morning show, but this is NOT for kids. It’s got everything you love about horror films: gore, monsters, boobs, bunny farts, and foul language. However it’s all in felt! This is what I love about the indie film scene. They are willing to take a risk on something and try new things. It doesn’t always work but when it dose, it’s refreshing.

The only bad things I can say are that the voice acting was flat in some parts and the volume levels jumped around a bit. However these are easily over looked and quickly forgotten. The story movies a good pace and the jokes well timed. The Puppet Monster Massacre is a must for any horror fan with a good since of humor. I mean who in there right mind doesn’t want to see puppets die with lots of blood and hear them say F****? And who hasn’t wondered what boobs would look like on Sesame Street? I hope we see more from these guys.

4/5

Director: Bruce Campbell

Writer: Mark Verheiden

Staring: Bruce Campbell, Ted Raimi, Ellen Sandweiss, Danny Hicks, Tim Quill, Michael Kallio, Dani Kelly

Released: 2/110/2009

Rating: R

Studio: Image Entertainment and Dark Horse

Website: www.dhentertainment.com

Ok, who in there right mind dose not love a good, I mean so bad it’s good, B-movie. There is no one who can complete with the king of B Bruce Campbell. If you agree with either statement above then My Name is Bruce is a must own. This movie is just plan fun. It is Bruce being Bruce, quick wit and classic one liners, up against a villain that looks like he would be at home on The Power Rangers. I am not saying that’s a bad thing, well kind of, but in this situation bad is better.

The plot of this film is simple and contains every cliche you can think of. My Name is Bruce starts off with a song that will stick in your head for days. It’s the story of Gold Lick, Oregon and it’s resident evil Guan-di, the Chinese god of war and protector of the dead, and bean curd. Oh yeah and he keeps watch over the graves of Chinese miners lost in a deadly cave-in of yesteryear. Of course Guan-di is awakened by a group of teens one of which is the worlds biggest Bruce Campbell fan. With the town threatened by this evil Jeff (Taylor Sharpe) comes up with the ultimate plan. Kidnap his hero, Bruce Campbell, from a movie set and have him kill the monster. Bruce goes along with Jeff’s prank, convinced that its all an elaborate birthday present from his agent (Ted Raimi), and begins to enjoy the spoils of being a movie hero, including free liquor and Jeff’s attractive mother, Kelly (Grace Thorsen). But when confronted by a monster that’s not a guy in a rubber suit, Bruce dose what anyone would do. He runs for his life. Will he come back to save the day? Well you’ll just have to get the movie to find out.

Well that’s the story, I told you it was simple. Now if this film was staring anyone else one might think it was just a pompous, ego film, but It’s Bruce so it works. This movie is deadly funny with tons of inside jokes. This was made for the fans. Ted Raimi is hilarious in his multiple role, the best being Wing. Toss in that cheesy monster and some good gore and we have a winner.

3 1/2 /5